


I've Been in This Place Before

by tashayar



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, brief depictions of violence in a flashback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 18:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9137104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tashayar/pseuds/tashayar
Summary: In the months leading up to this, amidst all the adrenaline-and-wine-induced confessions, Allura had forgotten why she and Kima had kept their distance after they stopped adventuring.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aworldinside](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aworldinside/gifts).



> Spoilers through episode 78  
> Title from Lauren Aquilina's "Fools"  
> Apparently I have a thing for writing ladies having angsty talks before one of them goes off to fight a dragon.

In the months leading up to this, amidst all the adrenaline-and-wine-induced confessions, Allura had forgotten why she and Kima had kept their distance after they stopped adventuring. Perhaps she hadn’t forgotten; fear and love had a way of mixing together into a sort of toxin all its own, effective as Modify Memory but not quite as permanent.

 

Living in Whitestone together had started out as a way to save space (or that was what Kima and Allura told each other) but had resulted in a rekindling of flames extinguished by time. In waking up, having meals, and doing chores together, Allura was reminded of old daydreams about the life she could have had with Kima after they had grown tired of traveling.

 

Then Kima had interrupted Allura’s research to tell her she was going off to fight the Frigid Doom, and the enchantment broke. There was barely any time to see her off, let alone say whatever kind of goodbye is appropriate when someone you love dearly is about to battle an ancient dragon.

 

Tonight was different, and Allura wasn’t sure if that was a luxury or not.

 

She had asked to accompany Vax and Keyleth to Zephra for most likely the same reason Kima had been absent from the brief council meeting: being in the same room as each other was painful in a way neither of them seemingly knew how to deal with or even understood. Allura’s heart was in her throat as she walked back from the Sun Tree to the home she and Kima shared, and it took her a few moments to get the door open with how much her hands were shaking.

 

The first thing Allura saw when she walked inside was Kima’s armor and sword, set up neatly on a makeshift rack and recently polished. Some invisible force constricted around her heart at the sight, so she turned and continued on to the bedroom. Pale moonlight filtered in through a small window, illuminating the area dimly along with a single wall sconce. A small form was curled up underneath the blankets, facing away from the doorframe. Allura stood for a moment just looking at the tangle of caramel hair tucked behind the one visible pointed ear, and felt both relief and panic at the thought that Kima had already fallen asleep.

 

“Allie?” The voice was so small Allura thought she had imagined it, then Kima sat up to face her and the tightness in her chest returned.

 

“I’m here,” was all Allura could think to say as she sat down at the foot of the bed, directly across from Kima.

 

The two were silent, Allura not trusting herself to speak and Kima looking like she was waiting for Allura to say something more. Instead, Allura just leaned forward on her knees to take one of Kima’s hands in hers. Allura couldn’t tell if it was her or Kima who was trembling, or if it was both of them.

 

“Do you remember what you told me the night before we fought this bastard the first time?” Kima eventually said.

 

Allura tried to think back, tracing her thumb across a scar on the back of Kima’s hand. She seemed to remember this one being from the underdark, but Allura quickly pushed that thought out of her mind.

 

“I imagine I told you to be careful. Back then I probably even thought you would listen to me.” Allura gave a halfhearted smile as she spoke.

 

Kima’s expression remained impassive, but she gave Allura’s hand a squeeze. “You told me that if things went south, no matter what, I should leave you behind and run.”

 

In that instant, Allura was back on the battlefield, hands shaking from the searing pain that coursed through her as her very flesh felt like it was burning, melting from her body. She looked up from the enchantment that was draining what reserves of energy she had left, the enchantment she had been working on for months that she bet her life and the lives of her friends would be strong enough to imprison Thordak and save their home from his tyranny.

 

She saw Thordak turning his massive head to face her, and Kima running directly for her. Allura shouted over the roar of the fires around them, hoping Kima would understand and turn back. She could finish the enchantment. She had time. The few seconds she had would be enough. There was no need for Kima to share her fate.

 

As Thordak was pulled into the Soul Anchor and as a torrent of flame hurdled towards Allura, her final thought was the selfish hope that it would be a good long while before she saw her friend again.

 

She did not expect Kima to be the first person she saw when she next opened her eyes.

 

“You certainly took that advice to heart, didn’t you?” Allura replied, blinking a couple times to bring herself back to the present.

 

Despite Allura’s attempt at defusing the tension in the room with humor, tears pricked at the corner of Kima’s eyes, barely visible in the gentle glow of candlelight. “I had watched too many of my friends die that day, I wasn’t about to lose you, too.” Kima took her hand away from Allura’s to pull a pillow out from behind her and began punching it in a way that was almost too violent to be passed off as fluffing. “I leave you for five minutes at Daxio and that traitor son of a bitch messes with your mind in a way I can’t understand, and now I’m about to leave you again.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” Allura reassured her, somewhat surprised at her friend’s concern considering Kima was the one about to face an ancient red dragon. “I’m needed here, and I’m sure Gilmore would much rather see some action than keep exhausting himself maintaining the shield.” Allura didn’t mention the fact that she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to face the Cinder King a second time.

 

“It’s stupid,” Kima went on, not taking her eyes off the pillow, “I want you to come with us so we can fight together, but I don’t want to see you die again.”

 

“And I don’t want to hear you’ve died while I sat hiding miles and miles away,” Allura said, more sternly than she’d intended. There was a pause and Kima met her eyes again. “You’ve always been a fighter, and I know you wouldn’t miss this fight for the world.” Allura brought herself closer to Kima and put a hand gently on the side of her face. “I need to make sure you’ve got a world left to come home to.”

 

Kima lunged forward and threw her arms around Allura’s neck, burying her face into her shoulder. Allura responded without thinking, holding Kima tight and close to her chest.

 

“I don’t care about Whitestone,” Kima said, her voice muffled. She pulled back just enough to look at Allura with a determination that was intense even for Kima. “You make sure I have  _ you  _ to come home to. That’s all I care about.”

 

Allura didn’t give it a second thought, she just pulled Kima in for a kiss to promise the sort of thing she couldn’t with just words. After the kiss, the two stayed in their embrace, silent for what felt like a moment frozen in time. Allura held just a few unspoken words left in her throat until they began to burst forth out of their own accord.

 

“Kima, I-”

 

“I know,” Kima cut her off, voice definite and unwavering.

 

Allura smiled into Kima’s neck. “You know.”


End file.
